Thursday, May 1, 2008

Reporting Live From The Trenches....

The following was sent to me by a wonderful mother who is knee-deep in early parenting. In it, she is responding to the most annoying question posed to stay-at-home moms: What do you do all day?

The question should be: How do you stay out of the looney bin and why aren't you earning a salary comparable to Bill Gates?

I am posting this "log" for two, very good reasons:

1) It is a perfect picture of a very full and demanding day,

2) I personally happen to know two other mothers who will read this and feel like at least there is someone out there who knows exactly what they're going through.

For Her Husband, Who Asked, "What Did You Do All Day?"

5:45am- Alarm goes off because my husband is going golfing today and needs to visit the office before he plays 18

6:00am- I change the dirty diaper of my newborn and begin feeding 6:05am -Kiss my husband goodbye and wish him fun and luck golfing

6:20am- Try to fall back to sleep because my newborn has, I can’t because his breathing is so congested that it’s driving me nuts and breaking my heart at the same time

6:32am- Get out of bed, make bed and clean up the empty bottles from the night’s feedings, drag a basket of clothes downstairs while trying not to fall holding the precious newborn

6:40am- Put newborn in swing in hopes that he will be able to sleep, start laundry (laundry does not get done until next afternoon)

6:45am- Get newborn out of swing, he is mad and now very stuffed up

7:00am- Thank the heavens that I set my coffee up the night before because newborn will not let me put him down7:10am- Try to console newborn while checking email and Onemaidamilking blog

7:30am- Get 2 year old out of bed, wash her face and hands and brush her teeth

7:45am- Make breakfast for me and 2 year old, fight to get 3 bites of banana down her throat

7:47am- Give up because now she wants markers and crayons and will not do anything unless she gets them, I get them and we eat peacefully, no banana consumed

8:00am- Begin watching Upside Down Show and potty training, all while trying to shove as much fluids in the 2 yr old, so she will in fact pee pee on the potty

9:00am- Change diaper of newborn and begin feeding

9:05am- 2yr old makes first pee pee on the potty, I put ravenous newborn down and proceed with the pee pee dance, while 2 yr old is holding the cup full of urine insisting that SHE walk it to the bathroom and flush it, 5 M&M’s rewarded

9:07am- Begin feeding newborn again

9:10am- Another pee pee on the potty, dance and flushing followed, another 5 M&M’s rewarded

9:12am- begin feeding newborn again

9:15am -another pee pee on the potty, dance and flushing followed, 5 more M&Ms

9:17am- begin feeding newborn again who has now no interest in the bottle

9:20am- while washing bottle 2 yr old poops on the potty, dance and flushing followed, 5 more M&Ms

10:00am- playing and doing laundry, my father arrives to “give me a break” and proceeds to tell me that newborn is really sick and I need to take immediate action to which I respond that he has been to the doctors twice in the last 5 days and there is nothing we can do for him except keep him comfortable, and then he tells me that my house is dirty and the dog is making newborn sick…BLLLURRRGGGG!!!!!

11:30am-make lunch, which was the other half of the bagel she ate for breakfast feed newborn who is still laboring to breathe, play with markers

1:00pm- take 2 yr old up for nappy time, proceed with reading the normal 6-7 books, newborn now is really laboring to breathe and is even pausing between breaths, mommy starts to cry and tells 2 yr old to read herself to sleep that she has to call the doctor, 2 yr old says "otay"

1:30pm- call husband for a little support, he says call the doctor and call him back if I need him (I thought I was calling him because I needed him) also called him because I think that newborn is allergic to the dog I tell husband to stop and get a steam cleaner that we are shampooing the rugs tonight, try to put saline drops in laboring newborn’s nose so to use the infamous bulb sucker NOTHING comes out…mommy still crying and he is completely blocked

2:00pm- call every Duct Cleaning business in the phone book to have someone come as soon as possible to clean my heating vents. Just in case newborn is allergic to his own home

4:00pm- call pediatrician's office crying they tell me to call an ENT doctor…all offices closed and if it’s an emergency call 911, mommy still crying

5:00pm- I call my mommy crying and ask her to come over because I just can’t listen to one more minute of my newborn baby working and fighting for every breath,2 yr old wakes from nap and asked if I’m okay and did I call the doctor, I assure her that I am okay and the doctor has been called

5:30pm- husband comes home with steam cleaner and goes right back out to buy a humidifier that doesn’t sound like someone landing airplanes in the same room with you, make dinner for 2 yr old (PB&J--I did not care about nutrition at this point)

6:00pm- give newborn a bath because maybe the steamy bathroom with give him some relief, husband comes home with a WARM MIST humidifier, to which I proceed to tell him that the doctor always say to use a cool mist, and that I didn’t know why they suggest it, they just do, he goes back out to buy correct humidifier

6:20pm- give 2 yr old bath, keeping newborn in bathroom to further help his breathing

6:30pm- husband arrives with second humidifier and now starts process of steam cleaning carpets, oh and lets me know that he is mad because he shot a 90 golfing today (poor baby)

7:00pm- we start bedtime ritual of watching Dora, drinking milk and eating cheerios

8:30pm- my mother is still in a steam bath with newborn, husband is just getting done shampooing and I’m reading to the 2 yr old,

10:00pm- mom leaves, I take over sitting in a humidified room, that looks like a rain forest

12:00am- feed newborn, 2 yr old falls out of bed, she has been in this bed for 6 mos, this is the first time she fell out of bed, husband who has the VIDEO monitor in the room with him did not hear her crying, he was sleeping too soundly (again poor baby), my husband takes newborn and I begin again to read to the 2 yr old, finally she asks with her sleepy eyes if the camera is on and I assure her that it is (not that it makes a difference because her dad who is responsible for it is sleeping to soundly to hear or see it)

4:00am- while feeding the newborn, I look at him and he smiles and winks at me, (he was still laboring for a breath)

So the moral of the story is that the good moments seem that much sweeter when you have had a wild day!!!

Oh and by the way, we took the newborn to CHOP ER the next day. We are still waiting for test results but he seems better today.

**Special thanks to Amanda for submitting this, and who should probably start a blog of her own.

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