Thursday, June 5, 2008


Well done, Shirley! The Guess Who? person of interest for this week was none other than Anna Chlumsky of My Girl fame. I loved this movie as much for its precocious lead character who was as endearing as she was realistic (despite growing up in a funeral home) and for the very real depiction of suburban 70s living.

Despite taking a very long hiatus from the world of acting, look for Chlumsky to appear alongside James Gandolfini in the upcoming political satire In The Loop.

And look for my ode to Shirley early next week (lucky, lucky girl).
****I'll be taking a hiatus from the blog as well, but please check back next week for a special series on adoption in America, and an unbelievable Mama Fashionista makeover that involved plucking, bleaching, and scuba gear.
AND get thos profiles to me!

Profile of a Parent

So, despite some shameless pleading, I still have yet to recieve any new submissions for our Profile of a Parent.

What does that mean?

I start making stuff up...about someone who reads this blog...and the answers may or may not be accurate.

You've been warned.

Send your responses and a picture to:

Guess Who?

This week's installment may be a little more challenging than the previous two; but, as always, the person to correctly identify who this is will be rewarded by the greatly coveted poem in their honor. A clue will be coming if necessary......

Quote of the Day

"Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man." -Rabindranath Tagore

Picture of the Day

Ever the slave to fashion,
Allison refused to allow her mother to pair overalls
with her purple Uggs.

Send your favorite kid pictures to:

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Bad Habits

I have two problems: nose picking and flatulence.

No, not little lady of a three year old. It seems that, at least lately, she cannot keep her finger out of her nose. I watch in disgust as my sweet little girl goes after the golden delights with the determination of a hound dog on a trail. And, to add insult to injury, when she successfully extracts the buried treasure, she proclaims with delight,

"Mommy, I did it! I got the boogie!" She then beams with delight as she nods her head, murmuring, "Yes, I got you!".


Up until now I have attempted the following three approaches:

1) Passive: "Oh, do you need a tissue?"
2) Humorous: "Oh yuck, boogies are dirty!" (and then I'd playfully grab her hand and tickle her tummy"
3) Direct: "If you keep picking your nose, you will get sick and I'll have to take you to the doctor!"

Of course, nothing has worked.

And now we have the latest incentive for enrolling her in charm school: excessive farting; and her father is completely to blame. Every time she lets out a "backdoor breeze", my husband howls with laughter and gives her a high five...not the kind of reinforcement I'd had in mind.

So now, everytime she does "step on a toad", she proclaims with pride, "I tooted" followed quickly with a Mommy insisted, "'scuze me."

Unlike the nose picking, I cannot reprimand her for doing it, I just have to figure out a way to teach her about manners as they relate to bodily functions. Since the average person breaks wind at least 5 times a day, it's more about finding the right time and place for such things...a lesson I have no idea how to broach.

So, if you have conquered either of the above bad habits, please fill me in....until then, I leave you with this all too appropriate quote from a bumper sticker:

"Children are like farts: your own are just about tolerable but everyone else's are horrendous."

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Upon asking her always picky eater what she would like to have for lunch, her daughter replied,

"Aw, Mama. I just had dinner last week."


A Poem for Melissa

So, this is two days late because Monday was a bit of a tough one, and Tuesday wasn't any easier.

The following poem is dedicated to Melissa for correctly identifying Peter Billingsly, better known as Ralphie from A Christmas Story. Much like last week's winner, I do not know very much about Melissa...which makes writing about her that much more enjoyable.

Sweet Melissa (I thought of the title myself)

Who is Melissa?
Hair of blonde and eyes of blue,
A vegan?, a runner?,
And now a muse too.

She works in an office,
That lives by the trade,
Fretting about stocks, bonds,
And money to be made.

But a natural altruist,
She knows that there's more,
To life and to living,
Than the stock trading floor.

She organized a clothing drive,
For women most in need,
She recognizes goodness,
Ever ready with good deeds.

And maybe she hopes,
That every new day,
Is a chance to do more,
To find meaning in her way.

And I bet she thinks of others,
As much as herself,
And I bet she offers forgivness,
Not putting time on a shelf.

Or maybe there's a higher purpose,
Something there's just no denyin',
Like making fun of her boss,
For wishing he was Ryan.*

*Seacrest, yes, Ryan Seacrest

---Look for the next installment of Guess Who? tomorrow morning at 10 AM.

Quote of the Day

"A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty."

Picture of the Day

Despite the rising interest in Extreme Dishwashing, not until Mia had anyone ever attempted a triple lux dismount from the precipitous edge of an apron sink.

Send your favorite kid pictures to:

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

A Way With Words

This week's installment comes by way of the fabulous photographer and mother, Shirley, who told an inquiring stranger that her daughter's name was Alexandra. Consequently, the woman rudely remarked:

Comment: What made you pick that name? (With a tone of disgust)

What You Want To Say: I guess that same irrational impulse that led your mother to acknowledge you.

What You Could Say: Well, considering how rude and thoughtless people can be, I wanted to give her a strong and distinctive name.

What You Should Say: Because it's almost as beautiful as she is...but I guess that is obvious.

The Eye of the Storm

So, as I mentioned, my daughter's 3rd birthday was a happy day. She never stopped smiling.

She smiled when the pony arrived.
She smiled when the cake was lit.
She smiled when the bubbles were blown.
She smiled when the balloons were dropped.
And she definitely smiled when the presents were unwrapped.

And at a 6:45, she was still smiling as she drifted off to sleep...

I practically floated down the stairs, thinking to myself that, at last, the terrible twos must certainly be behind us....what a perfect feeling.


Apprently the age of 3 and one day is also known to be pretty terrible. Monday was filled with tantrums, no nap, and further evidence of what I like to call The Garndparent Grumpies.

The Grumpies are essentially the days following a period of indulgence by the grandparents, or other doting family members. For an extended period of time, the chilldren bask in the adulation and adoration of family (replete with gifts, loves, and full attention), only to suffer withdrawl like symptoms commonly felt by the likes of a Paper Moon.

Every time we go to visit my parents in the Greater DC area, I have to expect the 2-3 days following the trip to be pretty grumpy....a complete detox from Grandma's refusal to say no, Grandpa's excessive tickling and chasing, and the treats. MY GOD THE TREATS!

SO, that was Monday. Party detox.

And the fact that my daughter's birthday also happens to coincide with the first day of hurricaine season is a pretty interesting commentary as well.

Here come the threes.....

Things That Make You Go Zoom

Two birthdays ago my husband, acknowledging my insecurity over the discoloration of my teeth, gave me the gift of Zoom. The laser based teeth whitening procedure involves three consecutive 15 minute applications of bleach under a laser light and, after one visit, you walk out the door with a significantly improved smile. Since I have been either pregnant or nursing for the last three years (and given the approach of my 10 year college reunion), I decided now was as good a time as any to cash in my fantastic present.
I made an appointment with the only man in the South Jersey dental world who can properly deliver the goods, Dr. Gerald Killoran of Advanced Dental in Mullica Hill (shout out to Colleen McCourt-- he's her cousin!). Not sure what to expect other than what I had read, I was quickly put at ease by the fabulous Donna who prepped me and applied the bleaching agent after the Dr. Killoran made sure all was as it should be.
The passage of time was slow (as it always is when you have your mouth in the equivalent of dental stirrups) but the trusty television and regular reassurance from Donna made the whole event a breeze.
I did experience some waves of tingling that were a little uncomfortable, though I would not exactly qualify them as pain; however, if you do have extra sensitive teeth, this may not be for you. Overall the results were better than I anticipated and the pictures above do not really do it justice.
And speaking of the, I did not go tanning too; the later picture required a flash.
For more information, you can visit the good doctor's site at:
Or the Zoom website at:

Quote of the Day

"What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories." ~George Eliot

Picture of the Day

After a long day of rain and no naps, the inmates were no running the asylum
(along with their applesauce stained shirts).
Send your favorite kid pictures to:

Monday, June 2, 2008

A Kid Party In Review

Having just hosted my third kid party (with another one but a few weeks away), I always walk away learning a little bit more about what helps to make a successful party.

If I were to make a list of lessons I've learned, it might look something like this:

10) If you are going to invite more than a few people, bribe Mother Nature (or Jimmy Dean) to keep it sunny. There is nothing like a little rain to send droves of youngins into your vulnerable home and then watch the cake kick in.

9) Keep your expectations in check. Unless you are a kindergarden teacher, the party may not work like a well oiled machine. Plan a loose schedule and try to be flexible when the inevitable disasters / disruptions / and trips to the Emergency Room ensue.

8) Presents may be a good after-party. I know there are mixed feelings about this, but convincing a horde of kids to watch while another kid gets great toys they might not be ready to share is only a job for Supernanny.

7) Games: proceed with caution. Try to pick something that will appeal to a wide range of ages and personality types and consider keeping all the prizes the same to eliminate jealousy. I once was put in charge of games at someone else's party and made candy the prize. The result: two 5 year olds became Ultimate Fighting Champions over a red ring pop....yikes.

6) Remember: The party is not about your ability to throw a fun, creative, and peer approving kid party. It is about your kid having a good time and feeling extra special on a special day.

5) Take advantage of party professionals. Whether you are hiring Cinderella or hosting it at Chuckie Cheese / The Little Gym /or some amusement place, putting the entertainment in someone else's hands will significantly help your party blood pressure.

4) Favors*: I am always so impressed with the hostesses who have a special bag that is age and gender appropriate for all the party attendees (shout out to Vida and Karen). Unfortunately, I am never that organized and so I went with an idea I stole from Susan: themed cookies. Though I am not sure the parents were pleased with even more sugar, it certainly kept things simple.

3) Timing: If your child usually naps, or if they struggle with consistent naps, take that into account when planning their party. Ideally, you'd love for them to awake from their naps, refreshed and ready to party....but what if they miss it amid all the excitement? Meltdown city by the time you usher in the cake.

2) Be flexible with your guest list. We're all busy and things come up (especially colds); and so do not get upset when guests have to bail at the 11th hour. Though the planning of the party may have consumed your week, it is just one party of many and your friends and family will make it to as many as they can. A declined invitation is not a personal affront to your child....let it go.

1) If you (and by you, I mean me) come up with the brilliant idea of having your husband dress up like a horse to give the kids horsey rides, expect that the image of a grown man donning a matted mane and large horse teeth may not appeal to some little ones (especially your own). "Pony up" (oh, that was awful) and go for the real deal. Pony rides are never old and my little girl has not stopped talking about it (or the fact that it created the equivalent of the Yangtze River in our back yard).

Of course, I still made a ton of mistakes when orchestrating yesterday's events, but I am so okay with it because the most important person of the day never stopped smiling.

****Does anyone have a great favor idea???? I am looking to create a good list. Please, please, please send them to:

Sex and the City

Thanks to Amanda's initiative to buy tickets way in advance and her mother's forethought to head to the theatre early to reserve a row of seats, the Sex and the City premiere was fantastic. The movie theatre itself was completely overrun by hundreds of giddy women who haven't shared a common guilty pleasure like this since the wedding of Luke and Laura (1981, hello)...if you didn't know what caused the excitement, you may have confused the whole event for a Tampax convention.

For those of you who are fans of the show, or who have an ounce of estrogen in your body, the show does not disappoint. The fashion, the friends, and the hillarity are all perfect; so much so that for the first time in my entire life, I want to go see it again in the theatre.

In my mind, the only bad parts were Jennifer Hudson's horrible acting skills and Samantha's plotline....both a bit of a letdown, though the movie was still fantastic.


there is already talk of a sequel.

According to

HOLLYWOOD - The producers of the Sex and the City movie are so convinced it will be a hit, they have already begun planning for a sequel. The movie's star, Sarah Jessica Parker--who has been filming the big-screen version of the hit comedy in New York City for the past two months--is said to be eager to exercise the sequel option written into her contract, which stipulates she will reprise her role as Carrie Bradshaw should studio bosses plan a film follow-up.

An on-set source tells British newspaper The Mail on Sunday, "The producers are already working on a script for a second movie--they are so convinced the first will be a hit. They are exercising the sequel option in all of the stars' contracts. "They want it to be a franchise and think they can stretch it over at least three movies."

Please, please, please let it be true.

Profile of a Parent

I finally convinced him.....

Profile of a Parent

Name: John, Daddy, Deli

Father of: Olivia (3y) and Joseph (346d)

What You Did Before You Were Someone’s Daddy: Whatever I wanted, with permission from my wife.

What You Do For Yourself Now: Read IBD at night and check my Fantasy Baseball League.

What is your favorite thing about being a father? Knowing that when I come home from work, I’ll always have a little girl who will ask “Daddy, what do you got for me?” and a son who will laugh hysterically at the sight of me.

What is the one thing you wish you’d known before you had children?
How much foul language I used, which I know have to censor

What would you do with an extra free hour in your day? Sleep, or pick weeds.

Who are your go-to people when you have parenting questions? The administrator of this fine blog.

What is the one thing your child(ren) do that always makes you smile? Talking to my daughter on the phone, watching my son attack food like Godzilla does Tokyo, and when they both toot.

Who is your favorite fictional mother? Angelina Jole (she’s not real)

If you could be someone you know for a day, who would it be? Ryan Seacrest

If you could ban people from doing something, what would it be? Going to see the Sex In The City movie.

If you could make one mixed CD that would be the only music you could listen to for the rest of your life, what songs would you put on it? “Even Flow” Pearl Jam, “Voodoo Child” Jimi Hendrix, “Simple Man” Lynard Skynard, “Sweet Emotion” Aerosmith, “Straight Outta’ Compton” N.W.A., “Moon River” Andy Williams, “Hypnotize” Notorious B.I.G., “Plush” S.T.P., “I Alone” Live, “Baby Got Back” Sir Mix A Lot, “Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough” Michael Jackson, “Baba O’Reilly” The Who, “Summertime” DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince
**My supply of Parent Profiles has officially run out!!! Please send in your responses to the above questions, along with a picture to:

Making Memories

Yesterday we celebrated my daughter's 3rd birthday party and oh, what a blast she had. We were lucky enough to be surrounded by good weather, an accomodating pony, and friends and family that prove to be the best presents of all.

Special thanks to amanda-inthetrenches for inspiring me with the slideshow effect.

Quote of the Day

"A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart." ~Author Unknown

Picture of the Day

Having accepted the fact that she would not be getting an alpaca for her 3rd birthday, the small wonder settled for secondary delight in a pregnant pony.
Thanks to everyone* who came out to help us celebrate O's special day......
Yee Haw.

And by everyone, I also mean the farmhands whose supply of tractors and school buses further enhanced the party's overriding theme.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Because I Didn't Know Anything Until I Knew You

For my little miss....

Happy Birthday!!!

To my favorite girl:
Happy 3rd Birthday!!!!!

"A daughter is the happy memories of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future." ~Author Unknown