Saturday, February 28, 2009

A Brother Abroad

A college professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class.

He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated he was going to prove there was no God.

Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!"

The lecture room fell silent. You could have heard a pin fall.

Ten minutes went by. Again he taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God. I'm still waiting."

His count-down got down to the last couple of minutes when a Marine - just released from active duty and newly registered in the class - walked up to the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him tumbling from his lofty platform.

The professor was out cold! At first, the students were shocked and babbled in confusion. The young Marine took a seat in the front row and sat silent.
The class fell silent...waiting.

Eventually, the professor came to, shaken he looked at the young Marine in the front row. When the professor regained his senses and could speak he asked: "What's the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

"God was busy. He sent the Marines."

This is Day 46.

Friday, February 27, 2009

I've Arrived

Like many companies, my husband's place of employment employs a computer system with websense that not only monitors what everyone is viewing, but also blocks out large search engines (yahoo, google) along with any sites with objectionable material. This is all in an effort to keep the work day productive, and the employees out of trouble.

Anyway, why is such a piece of information about my husband's computer system blogworthy?

BECAUSE.....I have been blocked!

He can no longer read about the Maid at work!

What does that mean?

He has lost a substantial foothold in monitoring me.

he. he. he.

A Brother Abroad

My brother already got his care package in what seems to be record time.

He wrote:

Classification: UNCLASSIFIED

Just what I needed, sandstorms keep rolling in and I can’t get the taste of dirt out of my mouth. This will help. Tell Olivia I love the heart and I miss her.



This is Day 45.

It's A Tough Time To Ask But.....

A close family friend and all-around amazing woman, Maxine Cotler, will be taking part in the annual Avon Walk for Breat Cancer held in Washington D.C. this May. Maxine, a ten year survivor herself, is as inspiring as she is hilarious and would certainly appreciate any help you can give.

I realize that this is the second time I'm asking for donations in support of the drive to fight Breast Cancer, but the statistics don't lie and neither do the effects.

1 in 8.

To donate, and view the names of some really fabulous donators, click HERE.

Also, be sure to read Maxine's story at the bottom to hear another person's triumph.

Thanks to everyone who can (in advance)....$5 goes a long way.....

Update on Family Nap


The list of things to do in my head kept me from joining the kiddies in slumber.

The fact that the economy continues to plummet into the great abyss and my husband is actually at work today prevented him from napping too.

Love means never having to say you're sleep deprived.

The Little Things

Every time we visit my parents, my children look forward to a host of special treats and experiences that they only enjoy with their grandparents.

Unlimited baked goods
The train
More things to climb on
Shirley Temples
Unlimited, unconditional love and affection from people who do not give them time outs

In addition to these, my daughter also loves the cheese my mother buys. Though she will only eat slices of white American cheese at my house (no sticks, and definitely no yellow cheese), she loves the little Borden circles of cheese wrapped in red wax casing, which she unwraps with the anticipation of a much looked for gift.
So, while I hit the grocery store yesterday, it occurred to me that I should buy them as well. And I did. I casually mentioned it to O later in the day and you would have thought I was handing her a suitcase full of paper dolls.

Really.....pure excitement followed by, "Are these for me? You bought these for me? REALLY? Oh, Mommy, thank you so much!"

To be clear, she is saying all of this as she stands surrounded by a sea of toys. She is no Oliver, nor does she lack for gifts from us or any other member of the family.

But the girl was practically welling up with tears.

"Really? You got this for me??"


Question of the Day

What happens when your youngest decides to start his day at 4:37 am?

The entire family naps at 11:30.

Sweet dreams......

Guess Who?

Other 33 year olds.....

I love my birthdays (as you can tell from yesterday's blog), and I don't ever get grumpy about the whole aging process. My research into who shares my newest level of distinction, however, is a little depressing.....

A Rod
Allen Iverson
Andre 3000
Andrew Firestone*
Angelina Jolie

And those are just the ones whose first names begin with "A".

BTW: Are we now considering men of "The Bachelor" to be celebrities. If so, I definitely want out..

Quote of the Day

"Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself." -Tom Wilson

Picture of the Day

Now that I'm 33, I thought I'd do some research into who among my peers is also enjoying their late early 30s.

This was the first person I came across.

And now I want out.

I'm out of pics again. Help an old lady out and send your cutest ones to:

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Favorite Word

Though John says I have a thing about "fantastic", it's not even a word I would consider favorable.

Hands down, my favorite word is incongruous.

Honorble mentions go to:


Come to think of it....I think I have a "thing" about words that end in "ous".

Favorite Scene From A Muppet Movie

Favorite Line From a Book

"All morons hate it when you call them a moron." ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 6

My Favorite Inside Jokes

There are a few stories shared with friends that always make me laugh out loud. They include:

John, yelling at the woman trying to windsurf despite the lack of wind. She was as still as anyone can be in the water and so John just started yelling, "Lady, SLOW DOWN! You're going too fast!"

Amy M, getting caught trying to avoid a townhouse bust, tried to sneak out a back window. She jumped right into a bush and was already to congratulate herself on her escape when she heard an amplified voice announce, "Maim, please step away from the bush".

Stacey's daughter saying something unsuitable to type on this blog. It sure was funny though.

Pete re-enacting the commercial: "I'll give you one dollar. Okay, I'll give you two dollars."

John imitating Skeeter's voice....and he can be saying anything, as long as it's the Skeeter voice.

My Favorite Joke

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?


Dwayne who?

Dwayne the tub, I'm dwowning.

My Favorite Painting

I realize that this may draw some ridicule (it isn't exactly something you'd throw on the wall in your living room), but my introduction to it came at a time when I first began to fall in love with art.

To make up for the Art class required by the NY city school board that I missed my freshman year (I moved from California where the curriculum was entirely different), I had to take art classes at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Can you imagine art class at the Met????

I better have gotten the best in art appreciation instruction.

Anyway, my initial resistance to giving up a year of Saturdays in a museum relented to the best education I've ever received. Thanks, Rita....wherever you are.

Anyway, back to the painting. This is Ruebens' "Venus and Adonis", depicting Venus trying everything in her power to keep Adonis from the hunt (where he would meet his demise). She begged, she cried, she disrobed, and she even had Eros trying to help....but, alas, he went......and died.

The Goddess of Love couldn't save the one mortal she chose to give her own love to.

Favorite Lines From A Shakespearean Play

from Hamlet

What a piece of work is a man!
how noble in reason!how infinite in faculty!
in form and moving howexpress and admirable!
in action how like an angel!
in apprehension how like a god!
the beauty of theworld! the paragon of animals!
And yet, to me,what is this quintessence of dust?
man delights notme: no, nor woman neither,
though by your smilingyou seem to say so.

A Brother Abroad: My Favorite Dedication

Since my sister-in-law already threw out "Lovers in Japan" to my brother on her blog, I figured I'd send Coldplay's version since I love it almost as much as I love them.

This is Day 44.

Favorite Poem of All Time

"When You are Old"

-W.B. Yeats

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,

But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

My favorite Man

The funniest person alive and the funniest part?
I somehow convinced him to marry me.

I Love American Idol: Feel Free to Hate On Me

My Top Three:

Allison Iraheta (UNBELIEVABLE)
Matt Giraud (I have no explanation for this one....just like his style, I guess)
Megan Joy Corkrey

The One to Haunt Me (but, this time, in a good way): Nick Mitchell (you know I like the crazies)

Most Overrated: Adam Lambert (Holy Makeup, Batman)

Needs to Stop Talking So Much: Jesse Langseth

Most Likely to Kick My Arse: Matt Breitzke

My Favorite Boy

My Favorite Girl

My Most Listened to Song

A year or more later, and I'm still keeping Ray LaMontagne in the rotation.....

Favorite Scene From A Movie That ALWAYS Makes Me Cry

I can't find it on youtube, but it is the scene from Love Actually when Emma Thompson realizes her husband is cheating and she tries to hold it together for the sake of her family.

It's like she's Kate Winslet's mother in the British talent pool.

I'll keep looking for the clip.....

My Favorite Song Ever

Best. Song. Ever.

It's My Birthday and I'll Blog What I Want To......

Today marks the beginning of my 33rd year, the last year that constitutes my early 30s.

What does this mean?

Today's blog is all about things I love.....and, yes, that includes American Idol.

All. Day. Long.

Quote of the Day : My Favorite Quote

“Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels.” - Faith Whittlesey

Picture of the Day

It's my birthday; I'll blog what I want to......

Yippppeeee.......I'm 33!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

A Brother Abroad

One of my favorite things about my wedding outside of the obvious joy and love shared with my man was seeing my father and brothers in their military dress.

Since I married a lowly, startlingly hansome civilian, there would be no sword ceremony welcoming me into the service (replete with a smack on the tush by a sword); but seeing three of my favorite people in full dress was something else.

My mom looked pretty enchanting as well.

This is Day 43.

A View

We have finally learned the identity of one of the predators of the snow geese (who are pictured above).

The bald eagle.

I never thought I'd see one flying freely, but there are two frequenting the farm behind our house.

Amazing....and I'l try to get a picture.

And I thought the Oscars were self-indulgent....

With every presidential address to Congress, I always tune in, regardless of who holds executive power, and I always regret doing it.

It has nothing to do with the message or the manner. It has everything to do with the clapping.

I can't stand it.

A twenty minute speech takes fifty minutes because political celebrities need to applaud the fact that they're great or they need to sit with a schoolboy scowl if their man isn't on top.

I think we should start a petition that requires the speech to be carried out like a school awards all clapping for the end.

If we're being honest, I tuned out after only a few minutes and instead just settled for the NPR recap this morning.

Quote of the Day

"The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out his nose." ~Garrison Keillor

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

A Brother Abroad

When my brother was in high school and I was a bratty nine year old, I caught him kissing a girl in his room (true to little sister form, I was hiding in the closet....eating a fruit roll-up).

Knowing I had some pretty excellent blackmail on my hands, I held on to the information to be used at the most opportune of times.

One entire month passed and then, at the dinner table, my brother decided to make fun of me for some forgettable reason. I decided then, that the time had arrived.

"Oh, yeah, well at least I wasn't making out with Marci in my room."

There was silence. Then there was shock. And, then, soon after....pure, unfiltered rage.

I left skid marks as I flew out of the kitchen and up the stairs while my father managed to collar my brother whose red face proved a nice complement to the steam smoking from his ears.

How I survived that I still have no idea.

This is Day 42.

A Tie for Headline of the Day

(1) Another reason why I won't be moving back to California any time soon:

"L.A. may release 4,000 inmates due to state budget crisis"

Check out the full story HERE.


(2) In addition to public acts of humiliation, vomiting, and girlfriends crying because their boyfriends were talking to some other girl:

"Beer Pong tied to spread of flu, mononucleuosis, CDC warns"

Check out the video HERE.


According to The Nielsen Company, the average American now watches more than 151 hours of television a month.

That works out to about five hours a day.... and an all-time high.

Hunger Strike

So, just as I have made some serious headway with my capricious eater, it seems my little man (whose appetite, up until now, seemed to know no limit) has declared a little hunger strike.

A spoonful of yogurt here, a scoop of corn there, but no real substantial meal for the past three days.

He's also drooling, enjoying wakeful nights, and his nose has turned into a faucet.

This leads us to the obvious: the over/under on one of the eye teeth.

Now, he has already sprouted his molars, which shocked me since none of his eye teeth have bothered to emerge....until now, all at once.

So here's the over/under: One eye tooth by Friday (right when company arrives)

Finally, Someone Got it Right

I have been to 1,000 indoor play sites, which are as varied in size and scope as they are cleanliness and security. There are bouncing castles, intricately themed rooms, flying balls, and always too many kids.

However, I have finally found the perfect place.

Spread Your Wings in Mantua, NJ somehow managed to put together the perfect play place.

Here's why:

1) It's one giant room; your kids cannot separate into separate rooms, leaving you scrambling to get one to follow the other. You can also step back and survey their play without hovering.

2) They serve coffee in a mom cafe that is also situated in such a way that you can watch your child as you imbibe.

3) The have a Nursing/Diaper changing room replete with comfy chair, sanitary surroundings, and diapers in every possible size for any mother in need.

4) Still very new, the toys do not at all feel used.

5) There is a partitioned area for early walkers/crawlers that is still part of the great room.

6) The people who work there are constantly cleaning while also interacting kindly with the kids.

7) The toys are a good combination of silly fun and education.

8) It's across the street from a brand new Target.

If you live in the area, visit their website at:

It's Come to This

After daily battles waged across the kitchen table with a daughter who resists eating anything that does not contain jimmies, frosting, or gobs of butter, I have finally won the war.

Yesterday my daughter ate all three major meals in completion....and peas were involved.

Previous attempts included creative cooking (make your own pizzas, pancake faces, etc), threats, bribes with desserts, and any number of useless, manioulative techniques. All of these failed miserably.

What worked?


Yes, stickers.

Quote of the Day

"The mildest, drowsiest sister has been known to turn tiger if her sibling is in trouble." ~Clara Ortega

Monday, February 23, 2009

A Brother Abroad

In case you missed the story....

This is Day 41.

When Paper Dolls Attack

As I alluded to in a previous post, high on my daughter's literal playlist is the wonderfully affordable and frustratingly flimsy paper dolls.

We have every princess, in every possible ensemble (from the ball to bedtime), and they occupy my daughter, with or without me, to no end. When she invites me, I love to play with her too, remembering how much fun I used to have with them and I also love seeing her share in something I once did too.

But now the paper dolls are starting to step out of line.

On more than one occasion, I have been informed to find another seat; Cinderella was sitting there.

When I laid my head down next to my daughter to whisper goodnight, I was chastised for almost suffocating Sleeping Beauty (who, apparently, wasn't yet sleeping).

When I absentmindedly stepped on Snow White, you would have thought I cannibalized her.

They're paper!

Confession Time

I never thought much of Hugh Jackman...until last night.

I'm totally on Craig's List right now, looking for my own set of personal dancers. Look out Shop Rite....

Quote of the Day

"When I was 14, I was the oldest I ever was. I've been getting younger ever since.” -Shirley Temple

Picture of the Day

This is what it means to be born on a sunny day.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

A Brother Abroad

As previously posted by Nurse Julie, if you're interested in "adopting" a soldier, click HERE for the "Treats for Troops" website where users can send any one of a pre-packaged care box for soldiers over seas.

You can do some thing very little, or something very generous....but it gives you a chance do something.

As for us, we just finished our March care package for Paul and since large, sequined bows and ridiculous velvety green leprachaun hats probably woudn't go over well at Al Asaad Air Force Base, we went for the usual candy, coffee, magazines, and, drum roll please, gel inserts for those always comfortable combat boots.

This is Day 40.