Friday, October 17, 2008

Too Funny

Though we aren't even close to the holiday season, I have already settled on my favorite new toy name.

The First Field Trip: PART II

So by "pajama" pants, I mean my black yoga pants that have never, ever seen a yoga pose (or any exercise for that matter) and serve as the comfiest pants to sleep in. They are black, a little more form fitting than I'd typically don, and bore only some evidence of the morning's breakfast.

Here's the point: when it comes to outings, there are those moms who could care less about fashion (if it's clean and comfortable, it's gold) and those moms who care about it very much (shout out to the mom wearing peep toed a pumpkin patch). Anyway, I had a cute, tailored flannel top on as my own little nod to the "crisp Seattle weather", and some comfortable flats that also looked cute and convenient for a farm. So, when I forgot to put on the jeans waiting for me in the dryer, I had sabotaged one of my rare attempts to look a little more than unremarkable.

Oh well.

To the fields we went where the ultimate school bus adventure awaited my daughter. Now, for those of you who don't know her, she is pretty independent and so I knew riding the bus with her teachers (without me) would be fine and fun all the same. But as her little brother and I waited in the car to follow the bus, I cannot deny feeling a little pain in my heart over the sight of her skipping along happily with Ms. Jackie, as the other boys and girls held hands with their respective mommies. I was definitely missing out on something.

When we arrived at the farm, here's what I didn't miss out on:

1) The smell of farm animals

2) The feel of hay getting stuck in those cute flats I chose

3) The harrowing feat of keeping track of two kids on a wobbly hayride, while also appearing to be the "with it" mom who has absolutely no problem doing it.

4) The potties and their smell (consider the typical public restroom and combine it with the first item on the list).

5) Crazy kids. Everywhere. There were 4-5 other schools there, which meant keeping an eye on my own two amid a sea of crazed children.

6) Pumpkins. Yes, pumpkins. Which means, two kids (one I carried for most of the time), a backpack for snacks, diapers, and any host of emergencies that would certainly happen if I were not prepared), a million other kids and one big pumpkin.

By 11 o'clock, I needed a nap, a drink, or an inventive combination of both.
One straight jacket, please.

****Oh, and the above image was taken from a family trip to pick apples at a local farm. This was a much more manageable experience as my husband accompanied us.

You didn't actually think I would have managed to also take pictures at the pumpkin patch?

Guess Who?

Ignore the Hulk.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Last night, as my children shared a bath, my husband had to reprimand my daughter in his sternest voice for putting soapy suds on her brother's head (for the 17th time).

He was serious, he was irritated, and the anger in his voice was more than a little apparent.

All of this caused her to respond:

"That what you just said right there, that hurt my feelins'".

Daddy: 0
Olivia: 1

Quote of the Day

"It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby is born. This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important thing is to keep your wits about you and borrow some money". --Elinor Goulding Smith

Picture of the Day

A special message to Chase Utley from O
(who was born on the exact minute you hit a grand slam):
Really keep your eye on the ball, really.
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Thursday, October 16, 2008

A Retraction...Sort of.

Obviously an avid reader of my blog, Dennis Leary was so concerned about the possibility of losing Amy M. as a viewer of his hit show that he is encouraging people not to get upset over one snippet taken out of context. He encourages us all to buy and read it for ourselves, specifically the chapter "Autism Schmautism," where the quotes were taken from. He goes on to say:

"I not only support the current rational approaches to the
diagnoses and treatment of real autism but have witnessed it firsthand while
watching very dear old friends raise a functioning autistic child. The point of
the chapter is not that autism doesn't exist - it obviously does - and I have
nothing but admiration and respect for parents dealing with the issue, including
the ones I know. The bulk of the chapter deals with grown men who are either
self-diagnosing themselves with low-level offshoots of the disease or wishing
they could as a way to explain their failed careers and troublesome

The Debate

So....I think I'm just going to vote for this guy:

The First Fieldtrip: Part I

Today marked my daughter's first field trip, a trip to Duffield's Farm, where harides, pumpkins, and all sorts of exotic germs abound. The most exciting part for the kids, however, was the opportunity to ride a real school bus, replete with gum stuck under the seats and questionable safety measures.

Needless to say, she was very excited.

I, on the other hand, was very anxious. Since I couldn't seucre a babysitter for the little guy, I would have to forego riding the bus with all the other mommies (so sad) and follow along in the car with little brother. This was okay, but it meant tons of planning, preparing, and timing...somthing hard to come by these days.

Now, when I have a busy day, I usually plan out everything the night before. However, I had a hair appointment (all my appointments are at night to avoid scheduling snafus), a Phillies game, major laundry, and a little editing that all needed to be done before my head found its pillow. In other words, I was left to scarmble a bit this morning.

While she decided to fight me on her outfit, he discovered the fun of hide and seek. By 8 o'clock I was seating, my nerves were shot, and I was praying we'd make it out the door in time to catch the school bus.

We made it....barely.

And as we peeled out of the driveway, both children remarkably dressed (albeit slightly wrinkled), I looked down to assess myself (always the last priority) and though I had managed to iron my shirt and coordinate cute shoes, I had failed to realize I was still wearing my pajama pants.

Quote of the Day

"We learn from experience. A man never wakes up his second baby just to see it smile." -Grace Williams

Picture of the Day

The first day of dance class meant learning more than a few new steps, together.

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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Oh Boy

Dennis Leary just came out with a new book, sensitively titled, Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy, and Stupid.

Now I realize that some of you may be offended by the title, but I understand the need for comedians to push the envelope a bit and I also recognize the fact that scandal sells.

And then there's this part, taken directly from the actual book:

"There is a huge boom in autism right now because inattentive mothers and competitive dads want an explanation for why their dumb-ass kids can't compete academically, so they throw money into the happy laps of shrinks . . . to get back diagnoses that help explain away the deficiencies of their junior morons. I don't give a [bleep] what these crackerjack whack jobs tell you - yer kid is NOT autistic. He's just stupid. Or lazy. Or both."


Who wants to take the over/under on how quickly Jenny McCarthy lays a beatdown on him? I'll expect a comment from her by tomorrow morning.

Feel free to share your comments now.

Funny? An example of truthiness? Hateful, ignorant pap? Signs he may suffer from a disability all his own? Par for the comedian course?

Happy Birthday!!!

Wishing little Kyleigh a very special day

in celebration of her 1st birthday!

I Know I am NOT a perfect mother, but......

Question: Who in the world lets their 14 year old daughter dress like this?

Answer: Supermom Dina Lohan
Oh, and the dots near her deriere were added by Perez Hilton, from whom I stole this picture.

Positive Reinforcement

As trumpeted by every parenting magazine known to moms, it is important to provide consistent and specific words of encouragement and compliments to ensure that your child's confidence and sense of self is being positively reinforced.

I have always kept this in mind when presented with an ambiguous drawing, any physical feat (jumping over a rock, hopscotching, etc), or those occasions when sharing is actually applied without direction. I am a veritable Queen of Encouragement.

And to say that it's worked, well, is a bit of an understatement.

This morning I overheard my daughter singing a made up song that goes like this:

"I love myself....I'm the star.....I loooooooooooove myself becuase I AM the staaaaarrrrrrr."

Postive Reinforcement?


Quote of the Day

"To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time." -Clare Ortega

Picture of the Day

If you think I look bad, you should see the sidewalk.
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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Headline of the Day

Suicides from financial crisis cause concern
So thankful he works on the first floor. Stay strong people, stay stong.

Fire Safety

At school today, my daughter and her classmates learned all about fire safety. They talked about smoke detectors (though, apparently every kid swore they didn't have one in their house), they discussed what to do when you hear one go off, and then they set one off to show the kids what they sounded like.

I was so happy to hear that they did this. It's smart, it's safe, and it's all kinds of great.

And she freaked.

A little.

Apparently, she really got the message and thought there was a fire. That coupled with the ear splitting sound did not sit well.

She's recovered nicely, but is now requesting that the smoke detectors she never knew we had be removed.

A Call to Red Sox Fans

As a devout Yankees fan, I'll be the first to admit that the likelihood I'll agree on anything baseball related with a Red Sox fan is very slim. I realize, as decreed by the baseball gods, that we are supposed to loathe each other for all eternity and that is all well and fine. I am just as happy to see the Yankees win as I am to revel in a Red Sox loss; however, my own distaste is a bit more personal than most. How so? I have had the great displeasure of visiting Boston in my early 20s by means of a little Ford Escort that also happened to bear NY tags.

And by visiting Boston, I mean experiencing the always cordial denizens of that fluffy little cloud known as Southie.

My dear friend Danielle had chosen Boston as her post-college home and, after a brief stint in an apartment in the North End (brief because her landlord realized how much more he could get for rent), she landed right in the bowels of Boston. So, as any best friend would, we would make time to visit each other in our ghetto apartments in the Bronx and Southie, respectively.

Every time I would pull into her street, I would make the usually short walk to her building while random people who I think were speaking English, hurled insults at me from clandestine windows. And by insults, I mean things that would make a sailor blush.

It was not fun and I was a young girl who had yet to become a full blown cynic. I just couldn't believe anyone took a sport that seriously. Furthermore, if we went to a concert or just walked down a street, we'd constantly hear the omnipresent chant: "Yankees suck". Wasn't there anything else to talk about? People had to have something more to life...

Needless to say, the final straw came when we went to a party made up almost exclusively of hardcore Bostonians and no one would speak to me because I lived in the Bronx.

I'm not kidding.

So, yeah. I haven't been such a fan of Boston since then.

BUT here's the point....after seeing the footage below on Monday morning from Sunday night's game, I think there may be one baseball related thing we can all agree on.

Manny Ramirez needs to go away.

Yes, and he can take A Rod with him.

Now let's all hold hands and promise not to key my car.

Quote of the Day

"Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head." -Carol Burnett

Picture of the Day

With hope, a certain team will not give his daddy reason to steal his pacifier.
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Monday, October 13, 2008

Back on the Blog

With the most significant part of my project completed (at 11:42 PM last night to be exact...nothing like getting it in right under the wire), my regularly scheduled blog will be back tomorrow.

And oh, do we have some catching up to do!