Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Because Today Should Be Foolish....

Though I never need the excuse of a holiday to torture my husband, the following is a list of great pranks to play on your husband. All but the first prank involve his arrival home from work, and none of them have you tell him some direct information. Pranks that have you tell a story or need you to convince him of something usually fall through…and anyway, we’re women- passive is always better.

5) Change his ring tone to some fantastic song, such as Shania Twain’s “I Feel Like A Woman” or Celine Dion’s “Because I’m Your Lady”. Wait to call him well into the morning to increase the chance he’ll be around co-workers.

4) An obvious one would be to tell him you’re pregnant; however, the manner in which you do it has to be ideal. When you see him arrive home from work, make yourself scarce. Leave a positive test on the kitchen counter (ball point pens work wonders) amid crumbled receipts and tissues. Leave a jar of pickles, a pregnancy magazine, and a baby name book scattered around the house for him to find while he searches for you. Let him find you in the bathroom on the scale and wait to here the inevitable collapse.

3) Have a friend leave a message on your answering machine pretending to be a plastic surgeon’s office confirming your consultation time. Let her be as specific as you want…

2) Let your husband walk in on you in the middle of a “phone conversation” with your mother. Have him hear you say, “Of course you can come for the summer…”, and so on.

1) Leave your computer monitor on with a posting on Craig’s List, where you have put up one of his most prized possessions for sale. Next to the computer have scribblings with estimates for something you want (pool, deck, dining room, etc) and make sure both sales prices are comparable.

Feel free to post an idea of your own in the comment section, I know there are a lot of creative (and calculating) women out there.

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