Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Out of the Mouths of Babes: Women Beware

My own daughter is constantly making observations that are as funny as they are surprising. Her most recent area of interest, however, is loudly identifying women she believes to be "with child".

Dangerous territory.

Author Dave Barry once quipped, "You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment." The point is: some women have periods of bloat, while others may be battling the bulge, and that being said, it is never safe to assume a baby is on the way. If I suspect a woman is pregnant, I'll slyly remark with a smile, "And so what is new with you?" This suggests I already know, without committing me to any assessment that may be incorrect.

Again, in cases such as these, discretion is lost on a 3 year old.

My daughter's newest interest started with women simply rubbing their bellies. I know she used to see me do this all the time with my son, and so I get the correlation. Unfortunately, now any woman with even the slightest bulge (I mean slightest) are fair game.

At first I tried to awkwardly excuse the statement. Then I pretended not to hear and hightail it out of the woman's vicinity. I later would "clairfy" what I wanted the victim to hear by saying, "No, that's not a baby....that's a woman".

And then I came up with something that actually works (for now).

I told my daughter that a woman with a baby in her belly is keeping the best kind of secret. Sooooo...if you see a pregnant mommy, you should whisper it to me to make sure we keep the secret.

A rare moment of genius for me.....until the approach wears off some time next week.

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