More wackiness...

It seems the more I search for crazy baby inventions, the I more I realize how many absurd items are out there. The above is the ultimate necessity in childcare: potty mitts. These disposable hand covers are for children new to the world of toilet use, who may rely on direct handling of the toilet seat to properly perch themselves (as well as land a proper dismount). This mind-boggling invention (comparable to the light bulb and microwavable popcorn), is made in the interest of preventing the spread of germs in one of their favorite places to fester (do germs fester?..that may be inaccurate....I'm sure lawyerboy will let me know).

I actually happen to know a little girl for whom these would be perfect, but that is less about germ warfare and more about gymnastic form (shout out to AF....when you can read).

Given the endless thirst for anything that will make our lives as parents more convenient, I am certain I will have more for you throughout the weekend.

Quote of the Weekend

"Never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble." -Martin Mull.

Picture of the Weekend

When dad falls asleep mid-game, your only option is to play hide-and-seek with yourself!

Send your best kid pictures to: dalessandrochristine@gmail.com

*Special thanks to Amy for the perfect caption.

It Truly Boggles the Mind...

I do not know how I missed this unbelievable baby product, but this is by far the most frightening invention I have come across. The Zaky Hand Pillows were engineered by some rocket scientist to simulate a mother's gentle touch, for the sake of comforting an infant and helping them sleep.

Now, I am all for anything that helps my son sleep (especially since he likes to let me know how he's doing a few times a night...yes, still), but these look like something out of a laboratory. Since finding these Kreuger-esque creations I have been having trouble sleeping, fearing someone is going to come and amputate my hands and sell them to sleep-deprived parents.

Has anyone ever used these? Please let me know if you have and if they actually work. I am not suggesting that I would try them, I just want to know if I'm alone in my terror.

If you're interested, check them out at:

http://www.pregnancystore.com/zaky.htm

The Week In Review

The Top 5 Things I Learned This Week

5) Though adults may look at a rainy day as an inconvenience, children see puddles, rainbows, and a new chance to get wet. Mud is neat too.

4) If you are going to make an off-handed joke about Mr. McGregor, provide a footnote explaining who he is and what he has to do with rabbits for the people who have never heard of him and don’t find any of it funny (shout out to JD).

3) Even peeps can be provocative.

2) Whether you choose to bottle feed or breastfeed, someone is always going to have something to say about your choice. When those inevitable, unsolicited comments arrive, feel free to ask what issue of Parenting magazine they appeared in, so you might learn more about their professional opinion.

1) If you decide to spend St. Patrick’s day catching a lot of leprechauns and their chocolate filled gold, be prepared for no nap, extreme sugar highs, and spending the next few days explaining that the green little imps can only be caught once a year.

More wacky baby products...

In keeping with this week's poll of useless baby products, I thought I'd post this absurd device that is as ridiculous as it is disturbing. The above image illustrates "The Baby Hanger", a medieval device that is used to secure babies to the back of a bathroom stall door so parents can attend to their scatological* needs with greater ease. The baby actually hangs out, obviously staring at you, while you attend to your business.

Are you kidding me?? Among the many crazy things I could point out about this contraption is:

(1) I can't imagine most kids would enter into this willingly. I imagine arms and legs flailing with one inevitable result: the door will swing wide open for all to see both your private affairs and the new means by which you've chosen to torture your baby.

(2) Of all the things you have to lug around (the entire contents of your diaper bag/suitcase, stroller, baby bjorn, grocery cart cover, and so on), where in the world will you stow this little device?

Wrong. wrong. wrong.

*I've been looking for an excuse to use that word

Another Birthday Wish

Happy Birthday, Stacey!!