Wednesday, July 15, 2009

A Brother Abroad

Lately my son Joseph's preference for my husband over me has become more and more obvious. Though he loves me more than anyone else in the early morning hours, it's his Daddy he wants every hour after.

They're playing catch now, having "guy talks", and enjoying some jokes that the women of the house aren't privy too, which is as cute as it is heartbreaking.

I'm supposed to be the favored parent!!!

Did I just say that out loud? Yes, well, I don't care how it makes me sound. I spend all day with them, attending to their every need. I put forth 80% of the effort and want to enjoy 80% of the return. John's just some fun guy who comes in at the eleventh hour with some new energy and displays of goofiness that could be considered an art form. It's not fair!

Actually, if I'm being honest, he's a really great dad... a lot more than "some guy".

And I would never wish for anything else. Besides, O is a miniature me and there's a part of John that wishes she would occasionally prefer him to me. I guess it just comes down to different relationships, all of which are so wonderful.

When I was complaining to my mother about Joesph's increasing attachment to his father, she just laughed knowingly, so natural is the bond. She then told me that when my nephew Paul was about Joseph's age, he used to cry and completely meltdown every time my brother Paul (his dad) would leave for work. It didn't matter that his mom and sister Abbie were home too, he just wanted his dad.

I can't imagine how hard it is for him now, now that he's entering the waters of early manhood. Did he cry when Paul went back to Iraq? Console his little brother who's probably just as heartbroken during the too long deployment?

Or maybe, instead, the bond has gotten just strong enough that he is better than you'd expect, knowing full well that even if miles are dividing, a father's love doesn't come down to distance or space. It just comes down to knowing.

I happen to think both my brothers' sons know that...and Joseph will too soon enough.

This is Day 167.

1 comment:

Julie Weaver said...

Yes, he did...and so did his dad.