Quote of the Weekend

"The rules for parents are but three... love, limit, and let them be." - Elaine M. Ward

Picture of the Weekend

Despite a long night of feeding, teething, and making sure his parents knew he was awake, little Logan was hard at work early Saturday morning to make sure those TPS reports were done correctly.

Please send your favorite kid pictures to: dalessandrochristine@gmail.com

Life Just Keeps Getting Better

Dlisted.com is reporting that J Lo has, in fact, signed a multi-million dollar deal with People magazine for an interview and full photo shoot of her little dragons (a reference to Dragon Tales-- in no way am I intending to offend anyone who knows, loves, or is, in fact, a dragon).

She agreed to do the shoot with two conditions:

1) Her nightmare of a husband has to be the one taking the pictures
2) The magazine is never again to refer to her as J Lo.

We can respect that.

JLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLOJLO

Shout out to my girl Jeannie with whom I was just discussing the aforementioned trainwreck.

Question

With all the marekting, research, and advances in technology, how is it that these bizillion dollar toy companies cannot find something that fascinates my son as much as the remote control, the phone, and my keys (yuck)?

Even the ones that are made to mimic them are second rate to him....I guess this proves the validity of today's quote.

Also, if - in a moment of desperation- you hand your little one your cell phone to keep him or her happy for the few seconds you need to get something done, keep in mind that baby saliva is the fastest way to destroy your phone. This happened to me when I let my oldest play with mine when she was 8 months because it was the only thing that would keep her happy while I had to get my driver's license renewed. Within minutes, it was completely destroyed.

I immediatedly brought it to my carrier's store (it rhymes with Merchizon) and told them I couldn't figure out what happened to it. They asked if I had gotten it wet and I sheepishly replied, "Why...no...how could that happen?" (As my daughter slobbered all over a rubber doll). The girl took one look at the phone and said, "Oh no....that's baby drool and we can't repair that. You're going to have to pay for a new phone."

HOW COULD THEY KNOW??? Do they have some special dying agent that turns an alarming shade of green when the micro-chip-it-ee-doo comes in contact with baby spit??

Dagnabit! I had to pay full price for a whole new phone and my little girl was riding around with a really pimped out (albeit) broken phone while I was forced to use something the size of a small kayak circa 1987.

Lesson learned. Living the dream.

Interesting Facts About Our Little Ones

1) A child laughs about 400 times a day. Adults laugh about 15 times. (Probably because the child is laughing at the adult).

2) There are 206 bones in the adult human body, but 300 in children (some of the bones fuse together as a child grows). (I guess that explains how my oldest is able to contort herself into a million different positions to avoid getting in the stroller or grocery cart, or even harder, out of the bathtub—slippery business!).

3) On average, kids ages 2 to 5 put their hands in their mouths 10 times an hour. (I can actually hear you germophobes fainting to the floor)The average American child uses 730 crayons by the age of 10. (I love Burnt Sienna- for sentimental reasons).

4) The average child will eat 1,500 peanut butter sandwiches by high school graduation. (Ick).

5) Students spend about 900 hours in the classroom and 1,500 hours in front of the TV each year. (Two very different educations, as well).

6) 65% of kids have had at least 1 imaginary friend by age 7. (Does it count if I have long discussions with my mirror?)

7) In ancient Greece, children of wealthy families were dipped in olive oil at birth to keep them hairless throughout their lives. (And here I have been campaigning my husband to pay for laser hair removal!)A 4 year old child asks about 437 questions a day. (Of those asked by my daughter, 436 of them are, “Can I have some popcorn?”)

The Week in Review

The Top Five Things I Have Learned This Week…

5) If you admit you have saggy skin worthy of a Guinness Book of World Record entry, people are going to want to see it.

4) If you are going to run to catch the ringing phone before it wakes up the baby, take off the damn “Step Up Shoes”.

3) If you choose to make an enemy out of a celebrity (her name rhymes with Steminer Flopez), make sure you avoid a closeted Scientologist…the cult will come after you.

2) Though new children’s television shows will come and go, Barney the God forsaken purple dinosaur will endure to annoy parents and invite parody. (Would you believe he has been around for 20 years??!! Would someone please explain what it means to be extinct to this knucklehead already!? Geez.).

1) Though, at times, I might miss how my life used to be so free and easy before kids, there is nothing more rewarding (or fashionable) than being a parent. But, please, a tooth…my God, one tooth!!

Try Your Luck...

The website www.embellishedmom.com is sponsoring a Bumble Bag Contest where a prize package worth an estimated $700 will be given away to one lucky person. The winner will receive the entire collection of Buttercup Bliss, including the Jessica, Kimberly, Madeline, Natalie, Car Seat Cover, and Snack Bags.

You just have to visit the site, vote on the diaper bag that most appeals to you, and you’ll be entered to win.