The Votes Are In....

No matter how many times people tell expectant parents how much life changes after children, you can never fully realize the veracity of those "warnings" until you are wallowing in the trenches, wondering who you've become and why you ever complained about anything before this point (especially exhaustion).

Since my husband and I are pretty religious home bodies, the transition to life with very little social interaction with the outside world was not as hard for us as it is for some. Never ones to hop on a plane to Vegas or start up a band and decide to tour, we really didn't mind hunkering down to be still with our new family. What we did not anticipate would be how tired, tired could be and how hard it is to talk to each other about things other than diapers, feedings, and naps. We struggled to find some rhythm, yearned for something resembling normalcy (or at least predicatbility) and though time had made life easier to juggle, the idea that a return to easy living being just around the corner really did not ever happen. With each new age comes new worries, new anxieties, and new obligations to eat up your time.

So, if you could surrender one of the harder parts of parenting, what would it be?

The answer was as close to unanimous as we've come: having limited freedom. Not choosing when to start your day, not being able to decide on a whim where to go and what to do, not being able to ignore a clock, someone else's needs, or a lingering odor all become the realities of parenting.

Though I do not miss the crazy nights out that took longer to recover from than the hours spent enjoying them, I do miss dining out with friends and conversations that never seem or need to end. I miss lazy weekend mornings drinking coffee, reading the paper, and eventually deciding to do something. I miss going to the bathroom when I have to, as opposed to when I can fit it in (you'd think teaching would have prepared me for that) and I miss not having to worry so much.
Unfortunately, there is no way to fully appreciate all those bygone things without completely surrendering them. I guess that is why empty-nesters and new grandparents always seem so happy.

Other constraints included the second place finishers: administering discipline and laundry. I actually don't have a problem with disciplining my children, as my struggle really lies in trying to figure out which method works best for the individual child. And as for the laundry, the pile waiting to be cleaned in my laundry room could swallow a small child...and I really don't mind that unless people stumble upon it while looking for the bathroom.

The last place votes went to doctor's visits, which usually serves as a great test of patience and immunities, as well as diapers. I actually am so used to diapers at this point, they really don't even bother me or my olfactory senses much....and I still love watching my husband hack and gag everytime he gets to do a doozy.

I guess it comes down to this: parenting is the hardest, best job in the world. It has to be if enduring all of the above is well worth all that you get out of it.

My hardest days are still the best days I've ever known.